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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
caramiaaddio
hatingongodot

Years on the internet and somehow i still click on comments sections with the insanely optimistic idea that I'll learn something new instead of being subjected to the dumbest motherfuckers online typing like their sole purpose in life is to make me want to end mine

hatingongodot

"Wow, what an interesting post! I want to see what sort of fascinating discourse is being generated by the idea posited by the original poster" <- Me, operating under levels of delusion yet unexplained by modern science

piejumper
grelliam

To this day I still think "I wish squids were real" is the funniest example of ascended canon ever. Like, the first Splatoon game comes out, someone makes a Miiverse post just saying "I wish squids were real" (already peak comedy), "I wish X was real" becomes a meme in the Splatoon community and gets reposted everywhere.

Then two years later Splatoon 2 comes out and

image

Literally iconic

caramiaaddio

Anonymous asked:

Uh??? The facts abt ur parents??? Whadda hell would u be open to doing more facts abt ur wild parents bc I love them

answered:

Sure! They’re very weird.

  1. My dad regularly sings to my mom about how much he loves her while standing exactly in the way of whatever she’s trying to do
  2. My parents didn’t marry until I was 4 and they regularly forget that they’re spouses. They generally refer to themselves as partners
  3. My mom proposed to my dad by yelling at him from a room away that her taxes were fucked and they had to get married to which my father replied “this is how I always dreamed you’d ask me!” and pretending to swoon
  4. My dad appears as an actor in the movie Swoon, supposedly an important piece of queer cinema 
  5. My parents were both punks in their youth
  6. When I came home for thanksgiving with a mohawk, unannounced, my mom started crying because I looked “so handsome” and “just like your dad” and kept petting my head 
  7. My dad only says “that’s my boy” to me when I say something gay about men
  8. My mom and dad have the same taste in women but opposite taste in men
  9. One time we were watching a movie set in Chicago and my mom turned to my dad, and in the most sentimental mom voice, said “Chicago honey! We haven’t been there since the anarchist convention!” 
  10. My dad worked on California’s weed legalization bill
lou-the-naga-queen

The anarchist version of gomez and morticia

rukafais
theradioghost

I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.

AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE

theradioghost

for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis

galuby

dude, i think that’s a fairy

caramiaaddio
angel-derangement

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

biglawbear

"In the same way your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't." - Brennan Lee Mulligan, Fantasy High S1E17

callmebliss

Anyway please click on OP’s post like I did, intending to reblog directly therefrom

And enjoy